This is a subject I never thought I would write about, but because of the interest of many of you, today I will share what I feel about it.
First of all forgiveness is an intimate experience, unique and very personal, no one can tell you how to do it. You will discover your journey while growing and taking charge of your own life, and also letting others take theirs.
When I was younger I saw forgiveness as a process where someone was better than another, soddenly someone was small and excluded. It was hard for me to forgive or ask for forgiveness without feeling that something was out of balance. In the 90’s my Rebirthing teacher and her family, the wonderful Maria Luisa Becerra, put on my hands a notebook, a pencil and a diet will change my life.
Maria Luisa taught me that forgiveness is a gift to myself, is an act of responsibility and consciousness. What is really put in order are the thoughts that we’ve kept from past experiences and once those are in place our vision of who we are gets completed and expanded.
I was surprised to find out that what we think about others on some level is also what we think about us, EVERYTHING. It means, forgiveness is not an act we do for others but for ourselves. We put in order beliefs that have kept us entangled to people and experiences from the past to give them a place in our hearts, then we can let go. Letting go is not allowing it to happen again, letting go means the opportunity to learn enough to not repeat it again or to handle it better the next time.
“We are connected by invisible threads”, Elia Padron was reminding me recently. Forgiveness is a way of releasing painful bonds to create healthier new once. If there is anything we all can relate to is pain, grief pull us together in many ways. Forgiveness honor pain and provides opportunities.
Forgiveness means to take responsibility, to grow, to see things as they were, neither more nor less. Forgiveness does not make us bigger or better than anyone, just more conscious of ourselves. So lets accept what is, take what is ours, let go of what is not and keep going.
To finish I want to tell you the story of Somaly Mam, she was sold at the age of 10 as a sex slave, now as an adult living in Cambodia, she rescues girls who have been through the same. “One of the hardest things to overcome for the girls is when their own mothers have been somehow part of the situation”. The first thing Somaly asks the girls is to forgive their mothers for them to be able to continue. “forgive your mother in your heart so you can move on. Your mother will carry her part and you just yours’
What happened can not be changed, but you can chosen how the past will go along with you the rest of your life.
Smile at Life.